Ever have one of those days?

Have you ever had one of those days when you either want to scream at the top of your lungs or sit down in a corner somewhere by yourself and cry? That is the type of day I am having, and for no particular reason. The problem with having a day off is that it gives me too much "thinking" time. I sat in bed this morning, thinking about all the "what ifs" in my life. What if I hadn't met my first husband in college and decided that college was more important than love? Well, had I done that, I would have been Dr. Mary Hayes by now. On the other hand, I wouldn't have had my 2 beautiful daughters, and I can't imagine not having Kim and Kasey in my life! After 8 years of marriage, it was over. I was willing to live even in a peaceful co-existence with Dan for the sake of the girls. I even offered to let him basically live his own life if it meant that he would stay in our house so the girls had both parents. He decided he could not do that, basically because he was already involved with someone new. Oh well.....then there is the what if I had been thinking with my head instead of my heart and not married my second husband? For that one, there is not a BUT....it was 8 years of pure torture and pain and if I could take back those years and have a re-do, I would! That's still a touchy subject for me, and is probably the BIGGEST regret of my life! That is 8 years I cannot get back. That is 8 years of my daughters' lives that I cannot rewind and do over to make it better for them. So, as I sat in bed thinking over all of these thoughts, I thought to myself that I have a choice. I can keep harboring these angry feelings to the point that I will eventually explode in rage, OR, I can cut my losses and move on! I have chosen to move on. After all, I cannot change the past. I cannot rewind the clock to change these mistakes. My biggest regret is that I chose to marry my second husband when I knew on my wedding day that it was a mistake! But......I'm moving forward from now on. No more "what ifs" because I can't change it anyway. Here's to the days ahead! I am in control now! No more looking back!