A favorite memory

As I write these blogs, I'm trying to remember some of my favorite memories as a child so that my girls will have something to have in writing. It's something I always wanted to do with my mom and dad, but never got around to doing it. So, without further ado...here's one of my favorite memories...

My mom had 2 sisters....Lou and Geneva. Both of my aunts were very different women from my mom, but I loved them nonetheless. Lou was probably the most like my mom personality wise. Anyway, when I was little, my parent and I (and my brother, Steve) would drive to my Aunt Lou and Uncle Elvie's house in Santoy, Ohio. It's no bigger than a minute (the town, that is). I believe, if memory serves me correctly, that it was an old mining town at one time. Anway, we'd go to Santoy, and we'd drive up the gravel driveway to their house. They had a modest home, with 2 actual bedrooms, a bathroom (with no plumbing, so I guess it was there for looks), a family room, living room and kitchen. It had a front porch and and big back porch, and for a bathroom, there was an outhouse. I loved everything about our visits there except for that....the outhouse. I had horrible visions every time I had to go out there of something crawling up out of that hole...or of me falling in...or spiders on the walls....or snakes...your imagination runs wild when you're sitting there in the dark! Anyway, aside from that, I enjoyed going there. My dad especially enjoyed going to Santoy, I think because it was remote and quiet. And he enjoyed visiting with Elvie. My mom enjoyed being able to see her sister Lou, and at one time, Geneva lived "over the hill" in her home, so mom would get to see both of her sisters. When Geneva lived "over the hill", she'd come up to Lou's and the three of them would sit at the kitchen table and play "Trouble" until the wee hours of the morning. I can remember laying in the feather bed (which Steve and I usually fought over) and when the windows were open, you could hear that "popper" from the Trouble game, and you'd here the three sisters playing that game and laughing and carrying on. My Aunt Lou was also a great cook, and she could make the best fried chicken around. For someone that had no running water, Lou did an amazing job of raising 8 kids in that house! She'd boil some water (which she got from the well), and they had a big wash basin in the bathroom, and that's how they would bathe. I can remember when we would visit that we'd take a cup of the well water outside with our toothbrush and brush our teeth and rinse out our mouth. My dad and I would go for long walks around Santoy...well....let's just say we'd walk several times around Santoy...and that was time that I treasured with my dad. I think he wanted mom to be able to just spend as much time as she could with her sisters, so we'd go off and have our own time. Simpler times...I miss those! I loved going here because every time we went for a visit, there was a lot of laughter....and there was nothing more contagious than my mom and her 2 sisters laughing together....you couldn't help but join in on the laughter when you heard them. My Aunt Lou also had a pump organ in her bedroom, and when Steve joined us on these trips, he and I would see who could get back to that organ the fastest to play it! It was such a simple house, but it felt like home when we visited. I loved going there because you could be yourself. Everyone there accepted you for who you were.

To my girls....I hope to be able to take you both there someday just so you can see it, and see the area that your grandma grew up in. I hope we take the time to do that someday. My next story will be about your Aunt Geneva.......now there's a story!!! :)

Until next time.....

It has been a long time.....

It has been a long time for a lot of things.....for instance, it has been a long time since my last blog. Life happens! I've taken some time off to get to know myself! After a lot of soul searching, I've discovered that I'm actually not a bad person, and I'm beginning to like who I see when I look into the mirror. People in my life may not always agree with my way of life, but I'm happy, and that's all that should really matter. Anyway...that's not what I'm writing about.

If you've read any of my previous blogs from the past, you know that I have struggled with depression. I think my mom's death was like the "icing on the cake" for me, and I've had to dig deep to keep from going back into a very dark, black hole.

I was in Walmart (go figure) the other day, and they had started to work on their Christmas aisle on the grocery side...you know, the one that has all the weird gift sets that really no one wants, but you feel compelled to go down the aisle anyway because, you know, it's your civic duty or something. Even though I wouldn't buy 99.9% of those gift sets (I'm talking about the ones with food in them), I found myself getting excited for the holidays! Namely, Christmas. My mom passed away on Christmas Day, so this holiday has been a real struggle for me and I've become somewhat of a scrooge. However, since moving back to Findlay and being near Kim and my grandson, Kyle, I see things in a different light. For the first time in what seems like forever, I can't wait until Christmas! Kyle has been the biggest blessing in my life, and he's made me see everything differently. He is such a joy! I'm looking forward to being able to see him open his gifts, seeing Santa, etc...and I'm hoping that we can start some of our own traditions that Kim, Kyle, and my baby daughter, Kasey, can take with them as they get older, and, when I'm gone, will have memories to hold onto. One thing I'm hoping to do is to have a day when I can go out to Kim's house and we can bake Christmas cookies all day, and I hope we can start doing this every year. I hope we can take an evening and go driving around looking at the Christmas lights. I hope for a lot of things. And there's the key word! HOPE! For the first time in a long time, I have HOPE again...I feel alive again and I feel like a young child seeing things for the first time. It's such a great feeling, and I hope it never ends.

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving as well, even though I have to work. It's the forgotten holiday, it seems, but it, to me, is the beginning of the all important Christmas holiday. We all need to remember, though, the true meaning of Christmas...because without the birth of Jesus, we would have never had Christmas...something to think about.

Until next time.....

Where were you?

Is there anyone who won't remember September 11th for the rest of their lives? Where were YOU? If you're like me, you can remember everything about that day...where you were when the towers were hit...what you were doing....and how you felt the rest of the day...every minute ticking by slowly...walking around in a "fog"...going through a wide range of emotion from sadness to anger. I was at work...I hadn't been there very long when one of my co-workers called back to my desk and told me that 2 planes had flown into the twin towers....and at that time, they were trying to determine if it was an accident or an attack...I remember calling Vicki at her job to see if she had heard...I turned on my radio in my office to see if there had been any new updates on what was happening....I remember being extremely upset and really didn't know why at that time because everyone was still waiting to hear what was really going on.....I worked at a garden center at the time....a beautiful place full of plants, flowers, trees....all natural beauty...and our staff was very close knit...we were a family...so if I couldn't be at home with my own family, this was the next best place to be. It didn't take long for the news to travel and we found out that this was NOT an accident...this was an attack....soon after we found out about the other attacks as well on the Pentagon and the plane in Pennsylvania that went down. I remember that by this time, no one felt like working...everyone was calling their families and making sure that they were ok.....I called my daughter Kasey at school and asked her if she wanted to come home and she did...so I left work to pick up Kasey and then I had to go back to work. I felt safer having her home. I called my daughter, Kim in Findlay and made sure that she was ok, and she was. By the time I returned to work, one of the managers had gone home to pick up a television and he put it up at one of the cash registers for employees and shoppers to see...the only shoppers we had were ones who had not heard the news of the attacks...why we stayed open is beyond me! No one did anything that day...we all just stood and watched the horror before our eyes on that television set...and all we wanted to do was go home and be with our own families. In the days and weeks that followed, we watched the nation come together...everyone attended prayer services...everyone was nicer to strangers on the street....appreciating each other more...hugging their children a little tighter...holding them little longer...smiling a little more....going out of their way to help with care packages to the troops...or sending financial help to those people who were involved in the attacks in new york, washington, and pennsylvania. We all came together as a nation and it was a beautiful thing to see. But, like everything else....that passed...slowly but surely, life went back to "normal". Now, sadly, the only time we remember to be a little bit nicer and appreciate life is on the anniversary of September 11th. My oldest daughter reminded me that even the troops aren't getting the "care packages" like they used to from complete strangers that just did it in support of the troops and out of the kindness of their hearts. I'm just as guilty as anyone out there! We all got back into the routine of life after 9/11 and it's not that we don't still care....we just don't MAKE the time to do things that we should. So, my goal, in honor of this horrible anniversary is to MAKE the time to send care packages to the troops throughout the year...and, from time to time...to stop and say a prayer for ALL who have lost family members and friends in this horrible disaster...I don't care how long it has been...the wounds are still fresh, and I don't think that will ever go away. So, remember where you were on that September day and make a goal for yourself to do something nice more often out of the kindness of your heart...it doesn't matter how little a task it is...the point is to be more giving to others...and maybe, just maybe, the nation will unite again. Take a moment to remember all that have been lost.....and take a moment to be thankful for everyone in your life............

Until next time........

Looking back.....

A few weeks ago, my oldest daughter and I (and Kyle) went to McComb to the community garage sale. McComb is where I grew up from 2nd grade until the beginning of my 9th grade year. With the exception of my daughter's wedding, I hadn't been back to McComb in quite some time. So, as we were walking and driving around McComb to look for bargains (of which we found many!), it brought back a lot of fond memories of my younger days. As we were walking, I was pointing out to Kim where I used to live...where my best friend lived down the street...where the high school principal lived...where I took piano lessons...etc, etc, etc! It truly was a stroll down memory lane and it made me realize what a simple time in life it was. McComb is a small community where everyone knows each other. But I can remember my growing up years in that town as if it were yesterday. I remember my best friend coming to my house in the summer to watch "The Young & Restless" every day...and as soon as it was over, we'd get on our bikes and go to the pool for the rest of the day! I can remember on rainy days, Paula coming to my house or I'd go down to her house to play Barbies all day long. I can remember playing baseball in my back yard with various friends and we'd pretend that we were the Cincinnati Reds! I can remember going up to the school and playing basketball with 7 other boys (yes, I was the only girl)...and we'd play all day long until dark. I can remember walking home from piano lessons at Christmas time and seeing all the Christmas lights shining through the windows of each house that I passed by. I remember our house at Christmas time and my mom would put electric candles in each window and the bulbs were blue. I loved the way those candles looked in our windows and I loved walking up to the house and seeing the Christmas tree lights through the window. I can remember when it snowed, playing outside until my mom would force me to come inside. She always used to say that I was so healthy because I played outside all the time...even in the winter. I remember an elderly couple living across the street from us and I'd go over there every night to watch "Truth or Consequences" with them, or we'd play dominoes. Simple times....full of such fond memories. Oh, to go back to those simpler days! It would be so nice...no worries...just good times.....but I'll always have those memories to fall back on and they will always bring a smile to my face.

Until next time............

My little guy is growing up too fast!

My grandson, Kyle Matthew, turned 1 on July 19th! He celebrated his first birthday in a big way, with family and friends. The picture to the left shows him digging into his birthday cake....he quite sure why so many people were standing around, singing to him and watching him eat cake! It's hard to believe that this little man is a year old already! Where does the time go?! I remember only a few months ago, when Kyle learned to crawl! Then a couple months after that, he started to walk. I could sit and watch him play all day! He's starting to say words now, so it won't be long before he's actually "talking". Kim got his hair cut for his birthday, and it really made him look like a little boy, instead of a baby. Kyle is such a joy to be around, and while I love watching him grow and learn, there's a big part of me that wishes he could stay in the baby stage! Where do the years go!? I can still remember Kim's (Kyle's mommy) first birthday. We had had a house fire, so we had to move the birthday party to the multi-purpose room at the library. Looking at this picture of Kyle and his cake, I can remember Kim sitting in her high chair with the identical expression on her face....."who are all these people, and why are they staring at me!?" I can even remember the dress she had on, too, which was one of my favorites. 23 years later...Kim is now a mommy and her baby is a year old! And before Kim realizes, she will turn around, and Kyle will be starting school, making friends...the years flying by....and before she knows it, he will be all grown up.

This is for Kyle, from your grandma Mary. Grandma loves you, Kyle so very much, and I'm so glad that I have had the opportunity to be here and watch you grow....changing each day. Grandma adores you, Kyle, and you will never know how much you have helped me to feel better when I was having a bad time. Just being around you, watching you play, playing with you helped me a lot, and just seeing your precious smile made my day brighter. I'm not just saying this because you are my grandson, but you are the cutest little boy on the planet, and I just want you to know how very much I love you.

To everyone out there who has grandkids...enjoy every second that you can with them....they are truly a gift from God.

Until next time.......

My dog, the considerate pooper!

Every morning, while it's still relatively cool outside, Peanut and I go for a walk on a trail just across the street from my house. It's one of my favorite times of the day, because it's just me and my dog....everything is quiet...and it gives me some "me" time...time to think, gather my thoughts, just think! It's the one time of the day where there are no interruptions...........it's just me, myself and I and I love the solitude, if only for a few minutes. Peanut loves this time, too...he gets to pee on every blade of grass, every post, every flower....and when he poops, he is the most considerate dog on the trail! When it's time to do his business, he wants to be as close to a bush as he can get and will do his little circle dance until he finds the right spot...then, he back up into the bush and does his business...he doesn't poop in the middle of the sidewalk or in the middle of the grass where everyone can step in it...he gets it as far out of the way as possible. I've trained him well! (I take that back...he learned that on his own, because to say that I trained him well would imply that I actually SHOWED him how to poop in a bush!) Anyway.....I know, an odd topic for today...but I thought everyone could use a little chuckle! I know I can! I think the old saying is true...the more I know people, the more I love my dog! So, here's to you, Peanut! Good Boy!!!

Until next time..............

I am so fortunate.....

Sometimes you don't realize how lucky you are until you listen to other people talk. I was at work the other day, and one of my co-workers was coming back to work after losing her father. When she got out of her truck, she looked at me and I could tell that she was on the brink of "losing it". So, I walked with her, and asked her if she wanted to talk about it. And she did! She let it all out.....and started to apologize for being so emotional. I told her that apologizing wasn't necessary.....that letting it all go is one of the best things she could do. She told me that she had not had a relationship with her father since she was a child. Her parents were divorced and she lived with her mother because her father didn't want her. Her entire life, she tried to make connections with her dad, but after he got remarried, he devoted his life to his new wife, and didn't want to have a relationship with my co-worker, Peg. She looked at me, and told me that the part that hurt the most was that out of all her brothers and sisters, she was the only one that didn't have a relationship with her father. Peg looked at me, with tears flowing, and asked, "Why couldn't he be a dad to ME, Mary?" It's frustrating when you feel like you have no answer to that....you want so badly to be able to say something that will make them feel better. Peg wasn't looking for a response, though...and I knew this.....she just needed to vent. She told me that she regretted the fact that she didn't have a chance to tell her dad these things in person before he died. It's so hard to see someone, especially someone that you are close to, hurt so much! I told her that she could still talk to her dad. I told her that she should go to the cemetary, and say outloud to him what she wanted to say. I told her to yell, scream, cry.....whatever she felt like doing....just get it out! The next day, Peg came into work, and she told me that she took my advice and went to the cemetary and had a talk with her dad. She told me that it made her feel better and she gave me a hug and thanked me for being a good friend. I realized after listening to Peg tell me about her relationship with her dad just how fortunate I am! I was blessed with two beautiful parents who loved and adored me until the day they both died! They showed me love every day growing up and made me feel wanted. I cannot imagine living in a setting where you aren't wanted, don't feel wanted...don't feel loved. My parents and I may not have always agreed on everything, but NOT ONCE did I ever doubt their love for me. I had a very happy childhood and I wouldn't trade it for anything! Having said that, I realize that I take my good fortune for granted even now.....and then Peg came along and reminded me of my good fortune without even realizing that she did so!

Until next time.....

Be more specific......

OK....here's a little tip! When asking God for warmer weather, be more specific!!! I had been so discouraged by the cooler climate here in Ohio, and found myself letting the weather dictate my moods. So, I said a little prayer and asked for warmer, springier (?) weather......well, God definitely answered my prayers. Warmer weather is here.....but I think this is His way of playing a little joke...yes, I DO think that God has a sense of humor! It's not only warmer.....it's just plain HOT! And in an old house with no air conditioning and only fans to cool the house, it's like living in a kiln! (by the way, we will be looking for an air conditioner this week.) I'm not complaining, though. I asked for warmer weather, and I got it! In the future, though, I think I'll be just a little more specific. I AM thankful, however, for the weather, and will take this ANY DAY over cold and rainy!

Until next time...........

My brother, my hero..............

Growing up in a household with 3 older brothers was a challenge. By the time I was born, my two oldest brothers were well on there way to being in high school, but the brother closest to me in age was Steve. He's 7 years older than me. If there is such a thing as a perfect older brother, it's my brother Steve. Is he perfect? No. Did we ever fight? Yes. In fact, in our younger years, he used to LOVE to wait for mom and dad to leave the house so that he could aggravate me! When I was younger, Steve used to drive me CRAZY!!! However, as we grew older, and Steve was in high school, I really started to think that he was pretty cool! There's not too many older brothers that would take their kid sister to the movies.....I can remember going to "American Grafitti" with Steve. My brother would take me to Cedar Point, too.....just the two of us. When Steve went off to college, I can remember him coming home for the weekend, and he had bought me a t-shirt that said, "Ohio Northern University Streaking Team", which was back in the day when the song, "The Streak" was popular. I thought it was GREAT......my dad, who was the pastor of the Methodist church.....didn't think it was so GREAT!!! Steve just always seemed to be thinking of me...he was always in my corner. He'd also take time to play baseball with me, too, in the back yard, and in the winter, I remember going out into the backyard and we built this monstrosity of a snow sculpture....to this day, I have no idea what it was meant to be, but we had fun...just being together. When Steve met his future wife, Karen, I was blessed with inheriting a "sister". Steve was truly blessed when he found Karen. They have been together ever since. Shortly after they were married, they were both still in school at Miami University of Ohio and they stayed in university housing in their first apartment. I used to go stay with them for a weekend every now and then, and even then, Karen allowed Steve and I to have time together. We'd do simple things, like throwing frisbee, or going to Huston Woods to hike around. During one particular visit, Steve got tickets to see Maynard Ferguson, who was a fantastic trumpet player, and since I played trumpet, I was really excited about getting to see him in concert! As we grew older, and I got married and divorced, we didn't see each other as often as we used to. But, I always knew that all I had to do was pick up the phone and he would be there for me. I've always felt connected to Steve....like I can talk to him about anything. Everyone should have a brother as awesome as Steve. He has had health issues over the years and has really struggled to stay well. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him, and worry. I just wish I could make him feel better....I would take his illness in a heartbeat if I could, just so he could live happy and healthy! Even though he feels like crap most of the time, he still keeps going, when I know that he'd probably rather just curl up in bed and sleep. Steve fights his disease 24/7, and it really makes me angry that something can't be done for him. Anyway, just thought I'd share with you a little bit about my brother, my hero. I love him unconditionally, and I know he loves me the same! I don't tell him enough how much I love him, but I think he knows.

Until next time.....................

Can I just tell you..........

Can I just tell you that I feel GREAT?! I've been going through a very bad depression over the past few months, that I've tried my best to hide from friends and family. It has been so bad that I have just wanted to sleep as much as possible, and hibernate in my home when I'm not at work. However, I think I've made some great strides in the past few weeks to help myself feel better! I know that the weather has helped immensely! We are finally seeing warm, sunny weather here, which is a big help to me. But, it's not just the weather. I think I've just really done a lot of soul searching of late, and I have come to realize that I really DO have a lot to be thankful for. And if that's not enough, I recently heard from someone that I went to high school with, who read my blogs. She and I knew OF each other in high school, but we weren't really friends. She wrote me the sweetest email after reading my blogs, though, and after reading that, I felt as if I knew her. I then joined facebook, and she and I were able to chat today online, and it just really made my day. After joining facebook, I've been able to connect with a few other classmates, plus one guy that I didn't know because he moved away from our school to a different state before I moved to Marion. But, he and I have had a few conversations, too, and it's like gaining several new friends! It really has made my day! For the first time in a very long time, I've felt like doing things around the house, like cooking....which is a passion of mine, but something that I haven't really enjoyed of late. My body doesn't ache like it used to. I haven't had headaches like I used to. I just FEEL GOOD! That may not mean anything to you, but for someone who has felt like CRAP for so long, it's a major milestone! So........just thought I'd share my little bit of joy with all of you!

Until next time...........

I think my daughter has a good idea.....

I was riding in the car with my daughter, Kim, the other day. We were going to a community garage sale, and we happened to get behind a driver who was going, at top speed, approximately 15 mph. This frustrated Kim, and I must admit that had I been driving, it would have annoyed me, too. So, my daughter said that she wished she had a paintball gun so that every time she got behind a stupid driver, she could shoot their car with a paintball gun. She said that by doing so, it would mark every car in town so that other drivers would be alerted when they saw a car with paintballs, they would know that the driver was a stupid driver! (I know my sentence structure probably sucked there, but please forgive me....I haven't had any sleep in the past couple of days, so cut me some slack!) I think this would be a good stress reliever! No one gets harmed....only the car gets a new paint job....and drivers everywhere will know to avoid that car like the plague! Pretty good concept, don't you think?!

Counting My Blessings...........

OK..........anyone who knows me knows that I don't like change. It takes me a long time to adjust to new settings or new environments. Having said that, it onl stands to reason that the move from Tennessee to Ohio has been a BIG adjustment for me. I absolutely LOVED Tennessee, and I miss it every day...but if I sit down to count my blessings, then my move back to Ohio becomes less stressful. So, here are some of the blessings since moving back to Ohio.....

1. Living in the same town as my oldest daughter.

2. Watching my grandson, Kyle Matrthew grow up.

3. Being able to spend time with my daughter, Kim, doing simple things, such as going out for breakfast or going to garage sales to see what toys or clothes we can find for Kyle.

4. Watching Kyle develop each day---seeing him change and grow so quickly.

5. Watching Kyle and seeing how much he adores his mommy.

6. Having good jobs so that when the bills come in, they can get paid.

7. Having cheaper rent here than in Tennessee---MUCH cheaper so that we don't have to stress over paying it.

8. Having the money to pay for the van repairs.

9. Having money to buy groceries.

10. Meeting wonderful people who helped us get a fresh start when we moved to Ohio.

11. Hoping to be able to see my youngest daughter in Cincinnati more often once the van is safe to take on the highway!!! (the van has issues, but after all the repairs get done, it will be a NEW van!)

12. Having wonderful landlords---that's very tough to find.

13. Living with the love of my life who has supported me through all the good and bad for 9 years now, and I couldn't have done it without her.

We moved back here in January and it's hard to beieve that we've been here 4 months already! In that time, I've watched Kyle go from being an infant to looking like a toddler! Kyle gets cuter every day....what a heartbreaker he will be.

I look forward to being here for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Major milestones in Kyle's life.

So, do I miss living in Tennessee?? Every single day of my life!!! I miss the mountains, the hiking, friends, the WEATHER, etc. HOWEVER, when I start to feel homesick, I think about all the blessings that I have listed and things don't seem so bad after all!!

So, when things seem gloomy, count your blessings!!! It's a great attitude adjustment!

Until next time.....................

Days gone by......

Happy Memorial Day! Having today off has given my mind time to wonder a bit....to think about days gone by. I remember growing up when our family used to get together on different holidays, such as Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, etc....and we'd get together for a cookout and some actual together time! I also remember that while at these family gatherings, we actually had FUN being together. There was always the wiffle ball games played by the entire family...adults and kids alike. If it wasn't wiffle ball, it was softball, volleyball, badminton, croquet...just about anything we felt like playing. It really didn't matter what we were playing....it was just fun because we played as a family. After my mom and dad passed, it seemed like our family got together less and less, and now, if we get together once a year, we're lucky. I know that as we get older, we have more responsibilities, and our schedules keep us from visiting like we want or need to. But, I miss those times of togetherness. It seems like in this day and age, that the family unit is falling apart. It's like the only time a family really sees each other is at a funeral, where for one brief moment, it's like a mini-reunion, where everyone promises to stay in touch, but sadly, it never happens. I think a big reason that families fall apart is because of differences of opinion on life topics. Wouldn't it be a whole lot simpler if everyone could just agree to disagree, and for a few hours, put differences aside just so the family unit could stay intact? It's sad that we lose touch with family members and barely know our own relatives. I wish things could be different.

Until next time............

A Happy Time in My Life

I'm sitting here in my living room watching the American Idol finale. I must admit that I'm addicted to this show, and it provides me many hours of entertainment! And, the finale is always bittersweet because I know that I'm going to have to wait several months before the next one comes on. Tonight, however, one of the special guests was Donna Summer. When I was in high school, she was very popular, and my first true love, John, who I wrote about in an earlier blog, LOVED Donna Summer! I believe he owned every album (yes, back then they were called albums) that she created. Every dance we went to had Donna Summer music blaring over the speakers, including my Senior Prom, with the mirrored disco ball and all! Anyway, hearing Ms. Summer sing on American Idol tonight brought back a flood of memories from my junior and senior years in high school! Dancing to Donna Summer at high school dances, as well as dancing in John's living room and singing like we were rock stars with hairbrushes in our hands! Those were such good times! So, John, if you are up there listening......I sang one of your favorites in honor of you in MY living room, as my dog, Peanut sat with his head cocked as if I had lost my mind! I'll love you forever, my love!

Until next time...........

Strange Yellow Object

I just wanted to inform you that there is an unidentified yellow object up in the sky here today! After doing some research, I've been told that the yellow object is the SUN! So, I guess the sun really does shine in Findlay, Ohio every now and again. I'm hoping to see more of the big yellow ball more often! Just thought you'd like to know.


Until next time.............

My cousin Judy....

Every time I eat cauliflower, I think of my cousin, Judy. Judy was my mother's niece, but my parents raised her, so Judy was more like a sister to me than a cousin. Anyway, when I was little, I can remember Judy in the kitchen with those little boxes of cauliflower. She asked me if I wanted some, and, being the finicky child that I was, declined. She finally convinced me to just take a bite and try it, and after some hesitation, I took the plunge and tried it. To my surprise, I loved it! So, every time Judy made cauliflower, I'd join her in this "treat". She must have really loved it, because all I remember her eating was cauliflower! Obviously, she ate other things, but Judy should get credit in getting me to try something new in the food group, considering the fact that I grew up eating a lot of peanut butter sandwiches due to the fact that I didn't like trying new things. The other thing that Judy absolutely went crazy over was icecream.....any icecream was good to her, but her all time favorite was homemade icecream. When our family would get together for various occasions, homemade icecream was just a given! We would usually make 2 containers of it....one vanilla and usually one banana. Now, I love icecream just as much as anyone, but my cousin Judy could eat us all under the table! She'd eat bowl after bowl of homemade icecream....and she wasn't a big person at all! Where she put all this icecream is beyond me! So, everytime I eat icecream, I still think of Judy. My cousin is no longer with us....she passed away a few years ago from cancer. And I miss her, because she was like a sister to me. But, I made cauliflower last night for dinner, and couldn't help but smile, because I can still see her trying to convince me to give it a try! I'm so glad I did! Cauliflower and Icecream! Together.....not a good combination, but separately.....pretty awesome. One more thing that reminds me of Judy is my dad's homemade nutbread...I can still see her at family gatherings munching on this! She was an awesome lady, and she gives me many fond memories. Cauliflower, Icecream and Nutbread! Thanks for the memories, Judy!

Until next time......

I need my mom............

The past few days have been bad days for me. The weather doesn't help. I am a person that needs a lot of sunshine and a lot of warm days, neither of which is happening here! Sometimes, I feel like I live in Seattle! It's during these hard times that I need my mom. If she were still here, I would be handling this in a much better fashion! My mom and I used to talk every single day. Even though we didn't live in the same town, I still got to hear her voice every day of my life. And we'd talk sometimes for hours on end about absolutely nothing! My mom was a huge sports fan....especially baseball (the Reds) and basketball (college and pro). I was a huge Cincinnati Bearcats fan, and there were many games where we'd talk on the phone through a Bearcats game, analyzing the game, the coach, the players....it's just what we did. During March Madness, when the brackets would come out, mom would be the first person I would call, and she'd give me her predictions on who she thought would win each game....we'd literally go through the entire bracket, one by one. She was usually 80% accurate on her picks. 99% of the time when I would call, she was watching some type of game on television. That's how she spent the majority of her time. I miss my mom so much! Today is one of those days that I wish I could just pick up the phone and hear her voice again, and we could sit and talk about absolutely nothing! (I know she would have plenty to say, however, about the current Cincinnati Reds team and management and it wouldn't be good!) I don't care how old you get.....you always have days that you want your mom, and this is definitely one of those days for me! I need my mom..............

Until next time...........

Mother's Day.......

It's Mother's Day! Today, I have posted a picture of my beautiful daughters, Kim and Kasey. They are the light of my life, even though they may not think so sometimes! Mother's Day is a time for me to reflect on just how lucky I am to have been blessed with the two daughters in my life. Kim was born in January during a blizzard. Dan and I were lucky to even make it to the hospital that day. Thankfully, we did, and 4 hours after being admitted, Kimberly Blair was born, weighing 7#3oz. I remember when the nurse put Kim into my arms. I couldn't believe she was mine. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms, and look at her, watch her every move. I also remember when we took Kimberly home and how, after all the years of trying and waiting for a baby, I finally had my baby girl! My mom came to stay with me, and I remember that all she wanted to do was help me get settled into a routine with Kim, but she was driving me crazy! I couldn't wait for her to go home so that I could get into my OWN routine.....yet, when she left, I sat on the couch and cried because I missed her already! Hormones are such a wonderful thing! Anyway, everything turned out just fine, and I enjoyed watching the different stages of Kim's development. Kim was the first grandchild that LIVED close to my mom and dad, so she was showered with love from her grandma and grandpa on a regular basis. My mom and dad adored her and would think of any excuse in the world to come and see her or they would think of a reason for me to come see them. And then there's Kasey! She was born in December, 1 week after my birthday. Birthing rooms had just come on the scene, and I must say that it was such a wonderful experience......mind you, it doesn't take away the pain (I was a "pioneer" in that I had both girls naturally)....but the room was so "homey", with soft, pastel colors on the wall, lamp lighting, pictures hanging, and a "normal" bed. It was the closest feeling to home that you could get. I had been admitted the night before Kasey's birth, because my blood pressure had skyrocketed, and I was to be induced the next morning. Kasey had thoughts of her own! I went into labor at 10:30 p.m. that night and Kasey was born 2 hours later! I got to hold Kasey the minute she was born and she weighed in at 5#11oz. (I must say that I was very fortunate to have such easy labors.....4 hours and 2 hours.) Kasey was so incredibly small, but I enjoyed that because she didn't seem to grow up as quickly....at least in size. She was full term, she was just a small baby. She was every bit as beautiful as Kim was. The difference between the two births was that with Kasey, I got to have her in my room at all times, so I really enjoyed that. I remember doing the same with Kasey that I did with Kim....I would just hold her for hours and memorize every inch of her body and watch all her little moves. Kim got to come to the hospital to see her little sister, and once we came home from the hospital, I made sure that Kim felt just as special, and made it a big deal that she was now the "big sister". As the girls grew up, I was very lucky to have 2 very responsible girls. I have been truly blessed, and I've enjoyed watching them grow up and watching them bond with each other. Sure, they have their arguments, but they would lay down their own lives for each other. They are both grown up now, on their own......Kim is married and has a baby boy (my first grandchild), and Kasey is on her own in Cincinnati. Even though they may not always be in total agreement, I know they love each other, and that will never change. They are complete opposites, but I think that's why they clash sometimes. And that's ok. All I know is that I thank God every day to have them in my life. I am truly blessed.

Simpler times.....

When I was younger, my parents and I would go to visit my mom's sister, Lou, in the VERY small town of Santoy, Ohio. This was a mining town years and years ago, and you could basically kick a stone from one end of the "town" to the other. It was very remote, and my aunt and uncle lived up on top of a hill. Their house had no running water and no indoor plumbing. So, the outhouse was the only bathroom! I can remember as a kid just dreading the urge to "go" because I didn't want to have to go into this building and fight the cobwebs, spiders, flies, and whatever else might be crawling around in there! Since the house had no running water, my aunt and uncle would fill their car with at least 20 plastic gallon jugs and we'd drive down the road to a well to fill these jugs with water. This is the water that was used for drinking as well as the water we used to heat up the water to pour into a basin to take a "bath". It was a real eye opener for a kid who had all the modern conveniences! To brush your teeth, you filled up a little tin cup with water and used that to rinse after you had finished brushing, and this was usually done outside! Even though I didn't care for the "inconveniences", I did always have fun with my aunt and uncle. This was one of my dad's favorite places to visit due to the fact that it was so remote, and he felt like he could relax and enjoy the solitude. It was also a treat for my mom, because she was able to spend time with not only her sister, Lou, but also her sister, Geneva. When the three of them would get together, there was a lot of laughter in the house, and their favorite thing to do was to sit around the kitchen table and play the game "Trouble". They would sit into the wee hours of the night playing that game, and I would lay in bed, listening to the popper that rolled the dice, and would fall asleep to the laughter of 3 sisters taking that game so seriously, but having fun at the same time. Those were simpler times, and I miss them very much. My Aunt Lou raised 8 children in that house with no running water and no plumbing! They all turned out just fine! They all relied on each other, and I think that that is something that is missing in today's families. We have forgotten how to be a family to each other. Perhaps we need to go back to simpler times!

My First Love

I'm feeling sentimental today, so I thought I'd write a little quip about my first love. I was a late bloomer, I guess. My first actual boyfriend was when I was in junior high, which lasted all of 2 months. Both of us were very shy and were basically afraid to communicate face to face. He wasn't my first love. My second boyfriend was in 10th grade, and I met him in marching band. His name was Brian and after band practice one night, he asked me if I would like to go to the courtyard dance with him. (Our high school was built in a circle, and in the middle was a beautiful courtyard, and every fall, it was the first dance of the school year.) I remember the first slow dance and even remember the song that we slow danced to. We had a very nice time, and he asked me if I would go to the Homecoming dance with him, and I gladly accepted. He was a little less shy and we could actually talk with one another, but it wasn't a hot romance at all. I think we were more friends than anything, and that lasted about 6 months, and the romance faded. He wasn't my first love, either. My first love came to me the summer before my junior year in high school and I met him at church camp. His name was John Sturgeon and my love for John will never fade as long as I live. He was absolutely adorable, and when we met, I found out that he lived in Marion, too, but went to a different school than I did. He was a year younger than me, and we clicked instantly. I fell hard for John and he fell hard for me. We had a very sweet courtship, and I remember every single second that we spent together. We had our ups and downs, but we stayed together for 2 years, and then we drifted apart when I went off to college. If ever there was true love, it was between John and me. We went to all the various school dances at his school and mine, and went to alot of movies together. We just loved spending time together. He enjoyed writing poems, and he was constantly giving me poems that he had written. I wish I would have kept them. John was the first boy to give me my first kiss, and we had several in the 2 years that we were together. I will never forget those kisses, either. Anyway, more than the kisses was just this incredible bond. We did everything together. Then, when I graduated from high school, I went off to Ohio Northern University, which was only about an hour away, but the distance was enough to pull us in different directions. He still had his last year of high school, and when I would come home on the weekends, it seemed as if we just couldn't get our schedules to connect. It was sad. I missed my friend. We always vowed to each other that we would never let our friendship fade away, but in time, it did. So, I went on with my life at college, and ended up meeting the girls' father and we got married. I hadn't heard from John since I left for college. I had been married to Dan for about 2 years, and we were living in Marion at the time. I just happened to be grocery shopping at Kroger, and when I went to check out, the man bagging my groceries came up and said, "Hi Mary." I looked up and there he was! John was working at Kroger as an Assistant Manager. It was so good to see him. He walked me out to my car and told me that he had met someone. He told me that he was gay and had found his life partner and was very happy, but that he always hoped that he would see me again someday. We vowed, once again, to keep in touch, but we never did. The fact that he was gay didn't phase me in the least. I still loved him and wished only the best for him. A few years later, I was talking to an old high school friend on the telephone and she mentioned John's funeral. At first, I didn't think that I heard her correctly. I asked her to repeat what she said, and she told me that John had died from AIDS. The funeral was the next day. She thought that I knew this already. I had to go to the funeral! He was only 26! I found out the details of the funeral, and went. When I walked into the funeral home, I wasn't sure that I could handle seeing him. I put on a brave face, however, and sent inside. When I walked up to the casket, I half expected them to just have a picture of John, but the casket was open. When I looked down, I thought I was going to faint. This beautiful, attractive man had withered away to nothing. He looked 80 years old instead of 26! It broke my heart. I learned at the funeral after talking with his sister that he died in a nursing home, which broke my heart even more! How I wish I could have been there for John. Had I known about his illness, I would have been by his side until the very end, trying to make his final days as painless as possible. I miss my first love. I think about him so often. I do not regret my time with John at all. I will always consider him to be my first true love, and I will always consider him to be one of my best friends. So, here's to you, John. You will always be an angel to me, and when I think of you, I smile.

Until next time.................

Favorite memories....continued

When the girls and I moved to Trenton, Ohio with my mom and dad, they were still very young. And Kasey was only 2 or 3 when my father passed away. This may seem like a strange favorite memory, but it is one I will never forget. When dad was in his final stages of life, I chose to drive the girls half way to Findlay to be with their father, because since they were so young, I didn't want their last memories of their grandpa to be of his suffering and pain. I also knew that it was just a matter of time before he died; in fact, on my way to Sidney to drop off the girls, I truly didn't even know if dad would be alive by the time I got back. It was probably the longest drive of my life, because I just wanted to get back to be with my dad. On the way up, I was listening to Sandi Patti in the car, and this particular cassette was one that I was listening to on a regular basis during dad's illness, and it helped me to relax to some degree. I remember being very nervous during this drive and uneasy. But, as I drove and listened to Sandi sing, there was a medley of songs that she sang that had become one of my favorites to listen to. In this medley, she sings "Precious Lord, Take My Hand and When I Need Him" and it's absolutely beautiful. Anyway, as this song came on, I remember having tremendous peace. I was no longer uneasy....just completely at peace. I was almost positive that at that very moment, my dad had passed. After I dropped the girls off and drove back to my brother's house, where dad was staying, I was sure that when I walked into the house, dad would be gone. But I was no longer afraid. As it turned out, he was still with us, so I think this song was God's way of helping me through this very stressful time. Anyway, my dad passed away the next morning, and this particular time in my life will be written about in the days to come. To get back to the story, after dad passed away, and after his burial, I went to pick up the girls (they came to his visitation with Dan's parents), my mom and I stopped with the girls at the cemetery to show the girls where grandpa's sick body was and explained that his new body was now in heaven, and he wasn't sick any longer. Kasey, as I said, was only 2 or 3 at the time, and one of the most precious times of my life was after mom and I explained this, Kasey laid down on top of her grandpa's grave to give him a hug and to see if she could look through the dirt to see him again. It was such a tender moment, and I will never forget it as long as I live. Every time that I go to the cemetery, I remember that moment. In the days to follow, the girls and I stayed with my mom, and I think it was good for all of us. Mom moved back to our house once dad passed away, and I think the girls really helped my mom to be able to keep it together. Favorite memories aren't always happy necessarily....sometimes they can be bittersweet, but still a favorite nonetheless.

Until next time..........

One of my favorite memories...

When I got divorced from the girls' father, Kim and Kasey and I moved with my parents to Trenton, Ohio after my father retired. My father had cancer, so I wanted to be near both of my parents to help out, and they helped the girls and me as well. Anyway, my daughter, Kim, was 4 years old at the time and there was a video that she used to love to watch of Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton in concert. She would watch that video over and over again (and I must admit that it was a favorite of mine as well). On my way to work one day, I heard on the radio that Kenny and Dolly were going to be in concert in Cincinnati. I bought tickets right away and kept it a secret. I wanted to surprise Kim. I talked with my mom to see if she could watch Kasey on this date. I was so excited about this surprise for Kim. The day of the concert finally came, and as soon as I got off work, I picked up Kim, and we drove into Cincinnati. I took her out for dinner, and then we drove on into Cincinnati, found a parking spot and started walking to the arena. I still hadn't told Kim who we were seeing. I wanted to try to keep it a complete surprise until Kenny and Dolly came out on stage. As we were walking to the arena, there sat Dolly's bus...with DOLLY written in big, bold letters. I quickly walked Kim past the bus, trying to keep her eyes diverted from the area. We finally got into the arena and found our seats. I was able to keep it a complete surprise and when Kenny and Dolly came out onto the stage, Kim started crying. I think I pulled the surprise off quite nicely! She and I had a very good time that night and I didn't want it to end. I bought her one of the books that was full of pictures of Kenny and Dolly and for many nights after that concert, she would look at it before she went to bed. When Kasey got older, I would do special things with her as well. I enjoyed the one on one times with my girls and I miss that now that they have gotten older and have gone on with their own lives. Now that I am back in Ohio, I hope to be able to pick up where I left off. When Kim was older, we ended up being able to go to a Wynonna concert in Cincinnati as well, and that was a great time as well. My oldest daughter is one of the most amazing people I have ever met! She has turned into a beautiful young lady, and I'm proud that she is my daughter. Kim, if you are reading this, I love you with all my heart, and I hope we can start creating more memories together!

And to Kasey, I love you, too, and there will be blogs written about you, too! I'm not forgetting you! I just choose to do them separately.

Until next time.....

Today was a good day!

For the first time in a long time, I feel better than I have in a very long time. I suffer from depression. I'm not ashamed to say that. I used to be. Not anymore. Anyway, for several months, I have had a routine. I go to work. I come home. I walk my dog either at the park or on a trail behind my house. During work and during the walk with my dog, all I have been able to think about is getting back home, locking the door, laying down and sleeping for as long as I can. That's my day......every day. I've been working very hard to get over this, but it is easier said than done. I can tell myself that I want to feel differently....that I want to quit stressing over the small stuff.....and I can even say out loud that I'm tired of feeling this way and I refuse to give in to this evil demon! It's like being under water, and you can see the surface, but there's like a weight on your ankle, pulling you down every time you try to swim to the top. But, today was different. I went to work as usual, and even though it was a very hectic, hard day, I had a good day! And when I got off work, I called my oldest daughter and went out to see her and my grandson. I had a very good visit with her and on a side note...my grandson is so very close to walking on his own....it's just a matter of days. It was warm here today, and he had on shorts and a cute little shirt and barefoot! He has the most adorable little feet and the shorts were just too cute! There I go again, talking about Kyle. Oh well, it's a good diversion. To get back to the story....I came home, walked Peanut, and when I came back inside.....I stayed up! I made a very delicious meatloaf, puttered around on the computer, cleaned the kitchen, and went outside again with Peanut and didn't take a nap! This may not sound like a big deal to many of you, but for me it is a major milestone! Perhaps I have finally turned the corner! I really hope so. It is now 11:00 p.m. and I'm still not tired! That's a good thing for me. Anyway, today was a good day!

Until next time........

Text messaging....

If you don't have a cell phone these days, you just aren't with the program! And, not only a cell phone.....you MUST learn the art of text messaging! We have come into a world where the main form of communication is not via a telephone conversation! God forbid! No, the main form of communication, especially if you have kids of any age, is text messaging. Dummy me! When I first learned this art, I would actually type a message as if I was typing a letter....with actual words, typed out fully. Over the years, however, I've learned the art of "text lingo" which makes your texting time cut in half! Let me give you a few examples: If your reply is OK, don't waste time typing the "O"; rather, just type "K". (It saves SO much time) If you either received a message that was funny or a message that you know the messenger thought was funny, then rather than type the old fashioned "ha ha", your response would be "LOL" for laughing out loud. If you need to use the word "to", "too", or "two", then just type "2". How about if you need to type the word "your". To save time, just type "ur". This is the English language at its finest! My brother, who I believe is one of the smartest individuals on the planet has even mastered the art of text messaging as well, and I must admit that I've been very impressed with his mastery of abbreviation. I forgot to mention, in case you haven't gotten into the text messaging scene, that you only have a certain number of characters, or spaces for your message, so you have to get pretty creative if you have a lengthy message. I have received a few from my brother that I must admit were pretty impressive, and what's even sadder is that I didn't have any trouble deciphering his message! What's even worse is that when I sit down to write a blog or email someone on the computer, I find myself having to type actual words in order for the message to make any sense! What did the world do before cell phones came into play? They certainly have a lot of advantages, but sometimes, I miss the old fashioned phone conversation when you actually TALKED to someone. Talking.....it's a lost art!

Until next time..........

I can't wait!!!

Well, here's an updated picture of my gorgeous little grandson, Kyle Matthew! He is 9 months old already and I believe he is the cutest little boy I have ever seen! He will be walking soon, I just know it. That little smile of his melts my heart every time I see him! My mind starts to wonder about the days ahead as he gets older. While I don't want them to come too quickly, I am excited at the same time to see him, let's say, play little league baseball! I have a baseball field behind my house, and the other day, the little league teams started their season. It was so nice to look out my back door and hear the baseball chatter and listen to all the sounds of a little league game. I can't wait for Kyle to be on a team so that I can go to all the games! Like I said, I don't want him to grow up too quickly, but i DO look forward to the days in the future when he will hopefully be involved in sports of some kind. It's amazing how much love you can have for a grandchild! The love I have for my little man is beyond comprehension! It's a love that is totally different from the love I have for my children. He is such a precious little boy! He really has helped me in my struggle to overcome depression. I can be having the worst day in the world and as soon as I see his smile, all my troubles seem to melt away. So here's to little league, to grandchildren, to pretty spring days, and everything happy! And, as I said before, I CAN'T WAIT to see Kyle out on the baseball field, dressed in his baseball uniform, and carrying on the American tradition of America's favorite past time!

Until next time............

Try to remember.............

One of my best friends from grade school and junior high just recently lost her mother. Her mother was like my second mom when I was growing up, and she passed away about a month ago. Time goes by so quickly.....seems like only yesterday that I found out about her passing. Today, I opened my email to find out that another great friend of mine just lost HER mother a couple of weeks ago. Isn't it funny that no matter how old we get, losing a loved one, especially a parent, is never easy. When my parents passed away, I was an adult, and it was so tough to deal with. I lost my father first, and then my mom several years later. During the times of those losses, I thought about all the children in the world who don't even have parents, or had lost parents at a very young age. It made me grateful that I had my parents for so long into my adult years. It doesn't make the loss any easier, but it does make you realize that some children would have loved to have their parents into their adulthood. It's so hard to have the right words to say during this time of loss. You want to be there for your friends, but at the same time, you don't want to seem pushy. So, I usually let them know that I'm thinking of them and open my door to them whenever they feel they need someone to talk to. If you've ever lost a loved one, and especially a parent, the thing that has gotten me through all the difficult days is to try to remember the happy times that I had with both of them. I try to remember the funny stories along the way, and that seems to help me......especially if I'm having a particularly bad day. So, to all my friends who have lost a parent, know that I'm right here anytime you need to vent. I guess we're all reaching an age now where losing a parent is "normal"; nonetheless, it doesn't ever make it easier! If you are fortunate enough to still have a parent(s), give them a call and tell them you love them. Or, if you live in the same town, take time to go see them!

Until next time........

Precious Memories

As I wrote in my previous blog about my mom, I had a very special relationship with my dad as well. They are fond memories, and they are memories that I will hold in my heart forever. With my father, he had a hard time expressing his feelings to us, but we all knew that he loved us very much. With me, however, I think we shared a special bond, and during the times that I felt like I couldn't verbally express to my dad how I felt about him, I'd write him a note to tell him how much I loved him. It seems to be a Hayes thing......finding it hard to verbally tell each other how we feel, but I think we all know that the love it there. I, for one, am trying harder to learn how to verbally express my love. Anyway, to get back to my dad, there's a memory that I will never forget. After we moved to Marion, my mom and dad would sit with me on the couch before I went to school, and we would hold hands, and dad would say a prayer for my day, to keep me safe, and to pray for everything that was on his mind. I was probably one of the only kids in that school that had a father that prayed with his daughter before each day that I left for school. It's a big reason, I believe, that I survived that move to Marion. I realize now that dad not only prayed for me that morning, but probably "prayed without ceasing" throughout the day. And, one of my greatest memories was the many, many times I would ride with dad to a number of hospitals to be with parishioners who were having surgery, or were ill. I would drive to the hospital so that dad could rest on the way, and then he would drive on the way back. On the way home, if there was a Frisch's Big Boy near by, we would always stop, just the two of us, and get the chili spaghetti. It was our favorite thing in the world to eat. That, and we also liked Taco Bell's burritos, so whenever it was just the two of us, it was either Frisch's or Taco Bell. I loved these trips with my dad, because it was just US. We, as a pastor's family, had to share our father, so the times I got to be with him by myself were a special treat. The other thing that dad was famous for was knowing every dairy whip in the state of Ohio. If there was a dairy bar within a 200 mile radius, my dad could tell you where it was at, and we probably stopped at each of them at one time or another. There's a saying that is one of my favorites that says, "I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome." (as shown in my icon) That's how I think my father felt about himself. My father was far from perfect, but he was, in my eyes, one of the greatest men to walk on this earth! I miss those times so much! They are memories that I will never forget. One more memory, was one that showed that my dad could have a funny side, too. Sometimes, we'd go out to shoot baskets, and the thing he loved to do was this silly laugh, to make ME laugh so that I couldn't shoot the basketball! Dad also loved to cook and bake. In fact, I always thought that he could have owned his own bakery and been very successful at it. Just ask any of my family members about his cinnamon rolls! He loved to be in the kitchen, whether to make a big pot of chili or to make cookies. I think it was his way to de-stress. Anyway, this is just a few memories. I will share more in time. I was going to post this tomorrow, but, after writing about my mom, it made me feel better, so I just decided to keep writing! I DO feel better now. Just thinking about happier days.

Until next time................

Happy Days...............

The past few days have been bad days for me. The weather hasn't helped, being cold, rainy, and all out blah!!!!! Today, however, the sun is shining, and I'm fighting to get out of the funk that I've been in for the past few days. As I was driving around Findlay today, some happy memories of my mom came to mind, so I thought I would share them. My mom and I were very close, and in my younger years, we had so many fun times together. I think I was the lucky one to be the youngest in the family, and the only girl, because I think my mom and I shared a special bond that she didn't have with the boys. Not that she wasn't close to them, but it's just that our bond was special. One of my favorite memories of mom was a time that my parents and I went to Disney World over Christmas vacation. We were at the park, and I had decided that I wanted to ride the sky ride, where you sit in a car and ride on a wire across the park and look out over all the rides and millions of people visiting the park. I will be the first to tell you that heights have never been my forte, and it's also the reason that my dad decided to stay on the ground and wait for us! So, mom and I got in line and just as we were about to board onto our "car", the ride operators said that they would be shutting the ride down for some routine maintenance. Well, as soon as I heard this, I decided that I no longer wanted to ride this thing! I quickly began looking for a way to get out of there! I saw some stairs that led to somewhere, so we decided to see where this led! When we got to the bottom, we saw what looked like a big garage area, so we ventured into this area, figuring that somehow, we would be able to get back to the main park. As we entered, we realized that this was like a miniature city! An underground city! We found out that this indeed was a city, with street signs, and everything. As we were walking through there, trying to act like we knew what we were doing, we ran into Mickey Mouse, taking his head off, and also saw many characters getting ready to put their costumes on. Finally, Cinderella asked us if we needed any help, and my mom explained how we got down there, and she very graciously showed us how to get back to the main park. I look back on that memory now and realize that my mom could have "blown a gasket" when I decided not to ride the sky ride. But, she took it all in stride, and later on, we had a good laugh about the whole thing. Another fun memory of my mom was when we went to King's Island on another vacation, and there was a ride there that resembled a bobsled, and she got on it with me. She had so much fun on that ride and laughed so hard that she had everyone waiting in line laughing along with her! Her laugh was very contagious. She also loved to ride the scrambler, and every time we got on there, we'd laugh until we cried! I would try so hard to not slam into her once the scrambler started moving, but she'd always make me laugh, and into her side I'd go! Another memory was when we were at the mall to pick something up, and Curly, from the Harlem Globetrotters was there for a meet and greet, and he picked mom out of the crowd to help him with one of his stunts. She was the star of the show. She ended up getting to keep the basketball and got an autographed copy of Curly. Mom was always a good sport, and a great example of this was when our youth group decided to have a "haunted house" for halloween in the basement of the church. We were coming up with ideas to make it scary, and mom taped herself singing in a really screechy voice, that we could use when everyone walked into this room. She and I had a blast making this tape, and, once again, laughed until we had tears coming out of our eyes! This particular halloween party was also a costume party, and my parents dressed up as the Pillsbury Dough Twins! They were the hit of the party. As serious as they could be at times, it was fun to see them "let their hair down" once in a while so that everyone saw the fun side of them. These are just a few memories of mom that make me smile everytime I think of them! I'll share more in the days and weeks to come. I also have special memories of my father, which will be my next entry.

Until next time.....................

Looking Back

When I was a freshman in high school, a simple man from Plains, Georgia was running for President. Of course, I was not old enough to vote, but our school held a mock election, where everyone could get involved and campaign for the person they thought would make the next best President. From the moment that Jimmy Carter started running for office, I was impressed with him. I was impressed with the fact that he seemed like "the man next door" and he seemed to actually have strong, genuine feelings about making this great nation of ours a better place to live. He impressed me so much that I even wrote a letter to him and told him that if I was old enough to cast a vote, I would give him my vote. I wished him luck in the campaign and said that I hoped to see him taking the Oath of Office for President of the United States. A few weeks later, I actually received a letter from Jimmy Carter, along with an autographed picture. He thanked me for my support. I remember on election night sitting in front of the television set waiting for updates on the votes, and eventually, it was declared that Jimmy Carter would indeed be the next President. I was very happy. To my surprise, as the Innauguration neared, I came home from school one day to find an actual invitation to the Presidential Inauguration of Jimmy Carter! I could not believe it! Somehow (I think my dad was the culprit), the town paper found out about my invitation, and came to the house for an interview and I made the front page of the Marion Star!! In the next couple of weeks, we started to make plans to attend the festivities in Washington, D.C. I thought the day would never come, but after many sleepless nights, we were on our way to the Capital! My parents and I got to meet with our Congressman, who, by the way, even invited us to stay at his home during our stay. My parents declined, but looking back, I thought about what an honor that was. Instead, we stayed at a very nice Holiday Inn in Maryland, and commuted into Washinton for the Innaugural events. We even got to see Martin Luther King, Sr. give a speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. My father, with map in hand, directed mom and I to all the various activities, and seeing Jimmy Carter sworn in as President was one of the greatest moments of my life! We even had an invitation to go to the Presidential Innaugural Ball, but we didn't attend that. Instead, we headed back to the hotel and watched that on television. The way I look at it, I was part of history. I got to watch Jimmy and Rosalyn walk the parade route and wave to everyone, I got to watch him be sworn in as President of the United States. It's a memory I will never forget. My parents and I had such a wonderful time, and I know that financially, we probably couldn't afford this trip, but I think that they knew that this indeed was part of history, so they did everything they had to to make it all happen! That's how my mom and dad were. Their famous saying was "robbing Peter to pay Paul", and I'm sure that's what happened in order for this trip to take place! Thanks, mom and dad!

Until next time..........

p.s. On an unrelated note, check out my brother's blog, entitled Leaving Nadderby. It's worth checking out!

SLOW DOWN...............

I have lived in a lot of cities in a lot of different states. Some were small towns, some were medium-sized cities, and some were large. In all the cities and towns that I have lived in, and for that matter, traveled in, I have never seen tailgaiting at its worst as it is in Findlay! Drivers in this town love to ride right on your bumper! God forbid, you have to make a right hand turn! Better do it fast! If not, the driver behind you will be inside your trunk. What is the rush? After all, you can drive from one end of Findlay to the other in 10 minutes or less! Findlay residents are constantly complaining about all the "traffic" in this town! I have to giggle just a little bit because after living in one of the vacation capitals of the world (Pigeon Forge), these people have not begun to see traffic until they live there and deal with it every single day! Miles and miles of cars make their pilgramage into Pigeon Forge from Route 66! Once they exit off 405 into Sevierville to get to Pigeon Forge, they can be in traffic anywhere from 2 hours to 12 hours! Now that's traffic! Traffic in Findlay is NOTHING! And really, there's no reason to be in such a hurry that you have to ride my bumper or anyone else's for that matter! Spring has finally sprung in Findlay, so everyone needs to just SLOW DOWN and enjoy this beautiful spring weather we are finally having after such a cold, dreadful winter! SLOW DOWN!!! Roll your window down in your car......breathe in the fresh air.........enjoy the sights and sounds of spring! Go to one of the parks, get out of your car, and take a walk and have some "me" time. Take a deep breath and just RELAX! Even if it's just for 5 minutes! Breathe and Relax! And SLOW DOWN!! You know, we aren't promised the next day, so we need to enjoy every second we have on this earth. Think about it.....what if today was your last day on earth? SLOW DOWN.........

I can't get this off my mind!

I watched the Oprah show today, and it was very disturbing. The topic today was on puppy mills, where people (and I use that term loosely) breed puppies in very deplorable conditions. These dogs, in 99.9% of the cases, NEVER leave a cage, and these cages are very small. The mother of the puppies also live in very small cages with their litter. It was reported that the majority of these dogs have never even walked on grass, or even WALKED! The adult dogs are used strictly for breeding purposes. The puppies are the more fortunate ones, in that they get to leave after approximately 8 weeks, where they are sent to pet stores to be sold. It was reported that 99% of all puppies sold in pet stores come from these puppy mills. Some of the puppy mills have called various no-kill rescue shelters to come get some of the dogs that are of no use to them anymore, due to age, illness, etc. These are the lucky dogs. There is a man that runs a no-kill animal rescue, and he goes on a regular basis to rescue the dogs that the breeders are willing to give to him. The Oprah show accompanied him on one of his rescues, and the conditions of these puppy mills would make anybody with a heart be absolutely sick! Upon rescue, he took these dogs back to his farm/shelter. These dogs had no idea how to walk and, of course, were very frightened. The staff first began by getting the dogs the proper medical care that they needed and then groomed them. All the dogs were covered in urine and feces, and their coat was severely matted. Many times, the chains around their necks had also become embedded into their hair and, in some cases, their skin, and had to be cut out. This man, and I apologize for not remembering his name, or the name of his shelter, should be given the highest humanitarian award that can be given. (I'm sure if you go onto Oprah.com, his information would be available.) He has a beautiful facility, and he rehabilitates the dogs and they become available for adoption. He has a 99% success rate in his adoption process. The highlight for me was seeing the dogs learning how to play and run outside in the grass, and seeing, for the first time, the shine in their eyes.....they looked as if, for the first time in their lives, like they were something of value.

The other disturbing piece was that of a humane society shelter in Texas, who allowed Oprah's crew to follow the director on a "typical" day at the shelter. Due to overcrowding, he has to mark cages of dogs that will have to be euthanized EACH DAY, due to no room. It was the most heart wrenching thing I ever sat and observed. These dogs, tails wagging, walk to "the room", where in just 15 short minutes, their lives will end. How does one make this type of decision?! It's not the director's fault, and I know that it wouldn't be an easy decision. But, no dog should have to go through this. This particular shelter euthanizes up to 70 dogs per day! Thrown into garbage bags to be taken to the dump! And this is the HUMANE SOCIETY!!!!

What can be done? Well, as Bob Barker always used to say at the end of the Price Is Right, have your pets spayed and neutered. This would cut down on the pet population. But what about the dogs that are here now? I wish I had a big farm with lots and lots of acres, and I would rescue as many dogs as I could! I guess what I'm saying as I stand on my soapbox today is this! If you are thinking about getting a pet, PLEASE go to a shelter and take in one of these dogs that needs your love! Their "sentence" at the shelter is very short, due to the overpopulation, and millions of dogs are being killed every day! If you have a heart at all, this would bother you! If you don't have a pet, but have the time and space for one, please consider it. If you didn't see this show today, try going to Oprah's website to see if you can see it. I warn you, it is very disturbing, but it is something that everyone should watch.

For those of you who DO have a pet, give them some extra lovin' today! I know I did with my Peanut! I couldn't hug him tight enough! Don't ever take your pet(s) for granted, even on the days that they drive you crazy! No matter how irritated we get with our pets, they still love us unconditionally........something we, as humans should do with each other. So quit reading my blog and go give your pet some extra attention and thank the good Lord that he/she is in your life!

A Letter to Mom and Dad

Both my mom and dad have been gone for a long time, now. Too long. If I could write them a letter so that they could read it, I think this is what I would say......

Dear Mom and Dad, I think about you every single day since your passing. There's so many days when I wish I could have even 1 more hour with you. It would be nice if you could come down once in a while just to say hello and catch up on everything that's going on. You've missed some pretty amazing things since you have been gone. Kim and Eric got married at McComb United Methodist, your old church, dad. Kim made a beautiful bride and she has married a good man. He's a very hard worker and takes very good care of Kim. I wouldn't have it any other way. After all the bad relationships that I've been in, I will not let either of my daughters go through what I had to endure. Kim and Eric now have their first baby, who was born in July! How I wish you could see him! His name is Kyle Matthew and you would love him to pieces! You can't help but love this little boy. He is so adorable, and is growing by leaps and bounds. His first birthday will be here before you know it. He has learned to crawl and can pull himself up to things now, and I know that he will be walking very soon. I can be having the worst day in the world and all I have to do is go out to see him and see his smile, and I'm better! I seem to forget why the day was so bad! Being a grandmother is everything I hoped it would be and more. Of course, I don't feel old enough to be a grandmother, but Kyle makes me proud to hold the title. I moved back from Tennessee in order to be a part of Kyles life, as well as Kim and Kasey's lives. I loved Tennessee, but I missed the girls terribly, and just couldn't live that far away. Kim gets to be a stay-at-home mom with Kyle, for which I am happy about! She loves being home with him and she is such a good mommy. You would be so proud of her. She misses you both so much! I don't think any of us have ever gotten over you being gone.

Kasey is living in Cincinnati and has her first apartment! She is working full time and has become such a beautiful young woman. Dad, she has your beautiful, blue eyes. She turned 21 in December! Hard to believe, huh? She has been dating Tim for the past 3 years and I think that someday, they will get married. He is in the Police Academy, so he will be a policeman one of these days. He is an awesome guy, and I think Kasey is very fortunate to have found someone like Tim. Kasey is very artistic and has started to put that talent to use, and I'm glad to see her do that. I would like to see her go back to college and get her degree, but time will tell. She has so much artistic talent, and I wish she would be getting paid what she deserves! She loves Cincinnati, and I think that will be her home. I don't think she will ever move back to Findlay, and that's ok. It's not that far away, and as long as I can see her, I'm ok with that.

I am adjusting to Findlay. The best part of Findlay is the fact that Kim and Kyle are here! I have found a job that I like at a local motel. It's not my life's dream job, but I love the people there and I love my boss, and sometimes, I think it's more important to be happy at your job than to worry about the money. I have also found a great landlord, and the rent here in Findlay is very affordable. I had to take myself off of my anti-depressant in order to save money, and it was pretty rough going for awhile. I'm doing better now. I am hoping to get to a doctor soon, however, to have a check up and talk to him about my depression. I know that it runs in our family, and I just don't want to have another nervous breakdown like I had a few years ago. To be honest, I fight depression every day. But, I refuse to let it defeat me, and with God's help, I'll get through it. It's just that some days can be really bad, and I'll have that feeling of total dispair and overwhelming fear. Sometimes, all I want to do is sleep. But lately, I've been making myself do SOMETHING when I have these feelings.....I take Peanut (my dog) to the park for a walk, I read, or, I write, which has helped me more than anything. When I'm having one of those days, it makes me want to be able to get in touch with you somehow. I know that I can still talk with you, but the problem is that you can't talk back!

I will tell you of an experience I had not long after I moved back to Findlay. I had just gotten into bed and had just started to nod off, when I felt something on my head, like a pat, or someone running their hand over my hair. I sat up and looked around and there was no one there. I think, in my mind, that it was both of you, letting me know that you knew that I was back home, and that you were proud of my decision.

Every time I see a butterfly, I think of you, mom. Every time I see a dairy bar, I think of you, Dad! Archies just opened up for the season, and I think about how much you'd like their icecream! I'll never forget, Dad, the time you took me to the dentist to have a tooth filled, and we stopped on the way home to get an icecream cone and I had it all over my mouth because the anesthesia hadn't worn off!

I have so many memories of you both! And I just wanted to let you know that my love for you will never fade. If anything, my love for you gets stronger every day! I know you are watching over me, and I know that you love me. I just wanted you to know that I love you!

Forever your daughter,

Mary