My First Love

I'm feeling sentimental today, so I thought I'd write a little quip about my first love. I was a late bloomer, I guess. My first actual boyfriend was when I was in junior high, which lasted all of 2 months. Both of us were very shy and were basically afraid to communicate face to face. He wasn't my first love. My second boyfriend was in 10th grade, and I met him in marching band. His name was Brian and after band practice one night, he asked me if I would like to go to the courtyard dance with him. (Our high school was built in a circle, and in the middle was a beautiful courtyard, and every fall, it was the first dance of the school year.) I remember the first slow dance and even remember the song that we slow danced to. We had a very nice time, and he asked me if I would go to the Homecoming dance with him, and I gladly accepted. He was a little less shy and we could actually talk with one another, but it wasn't a hot romance at all. I think we were more friends than anything, and that lasted about 6 months, and the romance faded. He wasn't my first love, either. My first love came to me the summer before my junior year in high school and I met him at church camp. His name was John Sturgeon and my love for John will never fade as long as I live. He was absolutely adorable, and when we met, I found out that he lived in Marion, too, but went to a different school than I did. He was a year younger than me, and we clicked instantly. I fell hard for John and he fell hard for me. We had a very sweet courtship, and I remember every single second that we spent together. We had our ups and downs, but we stayed together for 2 years, and then we drifted apart when I went off to college. If ever there was true love, it was between John and me. We went to all the various school dances at his school and mine, and went to alot of movies together. We just loved spending time together. He enjoyed writing poems, and he was constantly giving me poems that he had written. I wish I would have kept them. John was the first boy to give me my first kiss, and we had several in the 2 years that we were together. I will never forget those kisses, either. Anyway, more than the kisses was just this incredible bond. We did everything together. Then, when I graduated from high school, I went off to Ohio Northern University, which was only about an hour away, but the distance was enough to pull us in different directions. He still had his last year of high school, and when I would come home on the weekends, it seemed as if we just couldn't get our schedules to connect. It was sad. I missed my friend. We always vowed to each other that we would never let our friendship fade away, but in time, it did. So, I went on with my life at college, and ended up meeting the girls' father and we got married. I hadn't heard from John since I left for college. I had been married to Dan for about 2 years, and we were living in Marion at the time. I just happened to be grocery shopping at Kroger, and when I went to check out, the man bagging my groceries came up and said, "Hi Mary." I looked up and there he was! John was working at Kroger as an Assistant Manager. It was so good to see him. He walked me out to my car and told me that he had met someone. He told me that he was gay and had found his life partner and was very happy, but that he always hoped that he would see me again someday. We vowed, once again, to keep in touch, but we never did. The fact that he was gay didn't phase me in the least. I still loved him and wished only the best for him. A few years later, I was talking to an old high school friend on the telephone and she mentioned John's funeral. At first, I didn't think that I heard her correctly. I asked her to repeat what she said, and she told me that John had died from AIDS. The funeral was the next day. She thought that I knew this already. I had to go to the funeral! He was only 26! I found out the details of the funeral, and went. When I walked into the funeral home, I wasn't sure that I could handle seeing him. I put on a brave face, however, and sent inside. When I walked up to the casket, I half expected them to just have a picture of John, but the casket was open. When I looked down, I thought I was going to faint. This beautiful, attractive man had withered away to nothing. He looked 80 years old instead of 26! It broke my heart. I learned at the funeral after talking with his sister that he died in a nursing home, which broke my heart even more! How I wish I could have been there for John. Had I known about his illness, I would have been by his side until the very end, trying to make his final days as painless as possible. I miss my first love. I think about him so often. I do not regret my time with John at all. I will always consider him to be my first true love, and I will always consider him to be one of my best friends. So, here's to you, John. You will always be an angel to me, and when I think of you, I smile.

Until next time.................